I am so lost, I finally have lost myself into what I thought I should be, nad that kinda sucks, because thats just something i think would be easier to be, and it was. Until it hit me, and hit me hard, my inner walls are broken down, and my indifrence is fading. I can't breath, and It makes me restless. I'm so tired of this, yet I find myself willingly coming back for more. I find myself more myself It's complicated....and tiring...and a relief... I'm comming back to reality, I was happier back then, but now I'm more me, and my mask is falling, yet I find I don't need it anymore, and all because of a stupid school.

...

Blah. Really cool word. It's exactly how life is, when your not doing anything. It sucks really, time goes by, whether you want it to or not, but people only exceed until a certain age the they go back, until they're finally emclosed in a small box under the ground and that's probably not as comfortable as your mothers womb. Imagine. You start out in your mom's womb, nice and comfortable. Then just when you think life couldn't be any sweeter, it gets all taken away from you, and you find yourself away from the only thing you love. As you grow older you learn little things and you begin to crawl, speak, walk, learn. Gradually you begin to remmember,and not things you've done last night, but people you've met years ago. You learn to read and write. you become old, Learn to fend for yourself (highschool, it's worse than a wild west film), and soon you learn to care for other people. You earn a companion, a child, a job. You earn a living. Then when your at your peak, you descend, you lose what matters most, your baby moves away, your love dies. When you think, I have nothing left, ALzhiemer hits you, you remmeber less everyday, your hands and feet are shaky, writing is now an impossible feat. You can no longer walk, or crawl, or be independent. You keep going until, your soul is finally passed away. Your body, in a box to rot. What I want to say is, Life is short. You can't think everything thru. Why should you.... You'll lose it anyway....

Live life and don't pay atention to little people telling you what to do. Thay don't matter in the long run.

Emo

i feel so Argh today! Just so lonley, and i'm surrounded with family. on top of that i'm Sick of Sao Paulo! I just hate it! Everything is so routine. I'm gonna watch crappy love moovies and eat ice cream now.
so see ya.

101 Part II

Hi I'm back, wont be able to say much because it's almost 10pm but whatever.

What I Look for in friends: I'm a person who will be civil to everybody, but i only have a hanful of friends, and even then, i have maybe one bf. I don't like to expose myself to people, which is aa big part on why I started this blog ( let out all the emotions) , and I dont trust anyone easily.
even my sisters don't know everything about me. As to what i look for in friends, i don't have a list, I either like you or i don't, and if I don't i will flat out tell you.

Love: Never been in love, i'm sad to say, I belive in love, espeically in love at first sight, but i haven't found "him" yet. As for boyfriends, I had one. It was a middle school fling really, so i don't really count it, so I have been and still am, boyfriendless, and unless i find "him" Thats not gonna change.

Tv: Is something everybody should throw out a window, unfortunatly it's addicting and just as i was taking out the plug ( so i can kill it) House came on and I lost to the television. Anything electronic ( not including the essencials) is a ..... nevermind.

What I admire: A person that can speak his/her mind, it's even better if you have the chance to be heard.

Someone not effected by others, if i want to wear pjs to school ( in brasil, people would find it less strange if you were in a chicken suit) You can't stop me! and to hell with the others.

...

i had medicine and am dozing off while writing ( tv section) so my post ends here.
I HATE MEDICINE!

yours,
Nah-

101 part 1

Hey. The name's Natasha and i finally got the time to start a blog. So here's a 101



Name: Natasha Kowalsetskyj , I like my last name but my first name is just blah! I have thought of getting it officialy changed in the future, who knows.
B-day: July 5th of 19-- , my age, you'll never know!!!!
Eye color: It changes from day to day, lol naturaly brown, but I were contacts,( my vision sucks) a lot.
Hair color: Brown
Height: I wish I knew
Favorite candy: Skittles and Jolly Ranchers
Favorite drink: Tied between Coke ( Who honestly doesn't like Coke?) and red bull
Favorite food: Anything Deserty
Music: I like Music. Anything with a good melodey and good lyrics. ( I'm not prejudiced against any type of music)
Places I like : I'm a city person, Shop-a-holic, yet, I stil enjoy the beach an camping (as long as i have a good repelent, i'm good.)
What captivates my attention: Anything original, I hate narrow-minded people, I much rather talk to a art "nerd" then an airheaded bimbo.
What pisses me off: Rumors, I've been the victim of it, and though I may have come out of it unharmed, some people don't and it can mess with a person's mental being.
Gossip, espeically about celeberties, Guys, DO I CARE?, How will me knowing the fact that "billy kaulitz got a new tattoo " benifit me in life? leave the guy in peace!, but i must say that even i have researched little stuff like that when i had nothing better to do ( execpt homework, but who really does that stuff?) and if thats the case then it's tottaly acceptable in my book, but truth is, i don't want to hear it!
Ok let me straighten this out, I AM NOT IN LOVE WITH anyone Sure, I may joke with my friends, but I'm Kidding!
If i'm in a corner, with my music blaring out of my headphones so loud you can hear it across the room, chances are I don't want to talk to you,If you know me enough to decipher when I'm just chilling, and when I'm ticked, you should know me enough to know I dont want to talk about it.

It's Late, and I'm tired so I'm gonna finnish this tommorow if there any errors don't blame me, blame daylight savings,school,and the time diffrence between here and philly.

Yours,
Nah-